I hope you enjoyed the read. For the complementary podcast from Chart Hills go to https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-golf-pilgrim/id1743914901?i=1000676468839
"What would be the best tee for me? I play off 19.4, but I can drive the wall pretty well, and I would like to experience the course as much as possible."
"You should be ok off the 61s," came the reply from the friendly pro to Mrs W's pre-round question.
"Yes, until you get to the ninth," added the wise member who was standing behind us.
He wasn't kidding. Five large bunkers stretch across an ascending fairway with trees framing the view.
In summer, the carry would be fine. On this wet autumn day, the intimidation factor was considerably greater and, sure enough, Mrs W's ball slipped into the sand.
Bunkers and water hazards are the greatest defence on the Nick Faldo-designed course. They are many and varied.
According to different reports, the number of traps varies from 98 to more than 200.
The discrepancy is understandable because there are times when there seems to be an array of traps from a distance, but they are clearly all linked on closer inspection.
This is the case on the fifth, where the 200-yard 'anaconda' stretches down the side of the fairway and then across it. Apparently, it is Europe's biggest sand trap.
Meanwhile, there are many nasty pot bunkers and a few that are taller than those trying to play out of them.
While it's highly likely that every player will encounter sand at some point, strategic course management can lead to a decent score, as evidenced by my 35 points, one of my better efforts on a top 100 course.
There was plenty to enjoy at Chart Hills before we had struck a ball.
Mrs W and I stayed in the new luxurious barn accommodation near the greenkeeper's complex and found ourselves perfectly rested and relaxed ahead of our game.
We popped over to the clubhouse, enjoying a tasty breakfast served by a jovial and very speedy team.
Speaking of food, the sausage rolls at the halfway hut are among the top three in the country. Woburn and St George's Hill are the only challengers.
Podcast Partner joined us and we honed our games on a practice ground with a driving range, bunker, chipping area and putting green.
Given the heavy rain and recent hollow-tining, the greens were not in their best condition, but there was still plenty to enjoy during our day.
Chart Hills fits in the same bracket as The Grove, The Belfry, Bearwood Lakes and Centurion but, in my opinion, the course has more interesting holes.
PP and I played off the 66 tees, which meant many long carries, including the very intimidating opener.
This is a par-five from a raised tee with bunkers guarding the sharp dogleg. Even if the sand is missed, the ball will likely find nasty, cloying rough.
Water comes into play on the second with a significant carry over a lake followed by an approach over a brook into a green sloping from the left and defended by sand on the right.
A lake down the left of the dogleg fourth should be comfortably avoided with a tee shot down the right. This is followed by an approach over a stream to a target between bunkers and a hidden pond on the right.
The sight of the anaconda on the par-five fifth will be enough to freak out many, but sensible course management by playing means the green should be easily reachable in regulation.
I love a short par-four, and my champagne moment came on the sixth, which is only just over 300 yards.
It requires keen placement down the right before the key shot into a green, with water to the right and rear and bunker to the left. I avoided trouble and nipped in a 25-footer for my birdie.
The eighth is a tough, long par-four, and PP played it perfectly, striping his drive before slamming a three-wood over a snaking stream. His chip landed eight feet from the hole and he knocked in the putt.
Firing the drive over the much-discussed traps on the ninth is only the story's beginning because more sand threatens on the left, in front, and behind the green. It is one of the craziest holes I have played this year.
The back nine's qualities emerge fully from the 13th - a storming par-four bending around water, reeds and trees on the left of a fairway, which rises to a green that falls from the right towards bunkers on the left.
Approaches to the 14th will be particularly scary as they are over a stream towards a green behind a desert of sand.
At this stage, there was only one Stableford point between Mrs W, PP and me. It was time for stern resolve on some of the most difficult holes at Chart Hills.
Thus, I put my course management hat on, played the long par-four 15th as a five, and avoided the bunkers on the left, thick trouble, and tree on the right. Its green is undulating and has a very slippery fall-off.
I also kept my head on the 16th, which had loud echoes of the ninth from the tee.
Once again, tiered bunkers filled the horizon, but this time, we faced a par-five, which allowed a lay-up, six-iron over the top and another iron into the green.
However, anyone leaking right will find sand because there are more traps for the entire fairway length.
The 17th is Chart Hills nod to the island hole at Sawgrass and demands precision to stay on a green to avoid water in front and a reedy grave behind.
Mrs W hit long but thought her wet ball was playable and made a decent connection, only for it to fly over the green the other way and splash down again.
Compared to the previous drama, the long 18th is relatively straightforward once a lake is carried, leading down to a green, which falls from left to right.
It completed a round which yielded more opportunities than we had expected after that opening hole and demanded more than just big hitting.
It may be hidden in central Kent, but we said we would certainly like to return during a dry spell to experience it when the ball is running.
We would certainly recommend a day and even a night at Chart Hills.
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